Libra: Relationships Begin in the Heart

by Guru Rattana, Ph.D. - Issue #94 - September 21, 2004

Its Libra time of year. The Sun enters Loveland September 22nd and stays in love through October 21st. Oh boy, we start thinking about relationships, especially in the Southern Hemisphere where Libra marks the Spring Equinox. In the Southern Hemisphere our focus is outward, in the Northern Hemisphere, at the Fall Equinox, we are drawn inside ourselves. Wherever we are, our relationship dilemmas and challenges are up for review. It is time to reach for another level of honesty about what we want and how we keep ourselves from having it.

Mars is in Libra from September 26th through November 11th. Mercury is in Libra from September 29th through November 16th. Most significant of all - Jupiter begins its once every 12 years passage through Libra Loveland September 24th and stays until October 25th, 2005.

Soulmate Fantasy or Divine Connection

With the Sun, Mars, Mercury and Jupiter all in Libra, our soulmate fantasies are bound to kick in. Finding our perfect soulmate is the up-dated version of finding our other half.

The soulmate fantasy formula usually boils down to (1) hoping to find a partner who doesn't notice our issues (or even better our issues magically disappear when we are in love) and (2) our perfect mate doesn't have any issues or he/she will instantaneously transform in our presence. (How many of us are recovering from that fantasy?) :+) Libra may be a love bug, but it is also a mental air sign, urging us to take a more realistic approach to how we can invite in healthy, satisfying relationships.

It is interesting that the Roman word for Libra meant beam or yoke.(1) We can surmise that this signified the beam of light of the Divine in our mind (Libra being an air sign), which is our connection to the universal mind. The spiritual goal of Libra is to establish our connection with the Divine, whereby we yoke or integrate our human personality with our soul and the Infinite. The meaning of Libra has evolved to mean weight or measure, indicating a process by which we establish our Divine connection in our quest for balance, peace and love. How does this relate to finding our soulmate? It is our Divine Connection that allows us to establish a soul to soul connection with another human being. Authentic soul mating happens between hearts that experience the Infinity that animates us all.

Self and the Relationship Challenge

The first six signs and houses of the birth chart teach us about ourselves and how to deal with life. With Libra and the seventh house we step above the horizon and confront the world. Our first encounter is with relationships. This is when we find out how much we have really learned in the first six arenas of life. Whatever we need to refine, relationships will certainly expose it.

The relationship/self duality is built into the heavens and the birth chart. Libra and the relationship house are opposite Aries and the first house of individuality. Relationships thus inherently confront our self-image and limited ego. They oblige us to look deeply at ourselves and our dysfunctions. If we want to save, improve or cultivate our relationships, the mirror makes us starkly aware of what we need to learn to do so.

Relationships are a tricky business. We must learn to honor and understand other human beings. As much as we might like an idyllic partner who is just like us, this is not going to happen. Everyone is unique. Everyone has their own soul needs, worldly agenda, and personal perceptions of reality that determine their approach to life. Unless we give up the fantasy of trying to change another to suit our needs, and learn to embrace and appreciate them for who they really are, we are doomed to repeat our unsuccessful relationship scenario, with its own brand of denial, drama, pain, abuse and abandonment.

The Individual/Partnership Balance

It is interesting that the seventh house includes open enemies as well as best friends and true loves. It is tragic that many of our romantic princes and princesses end up being the object of our wrath. Relationships oblige us to include another without excluding ourselves, and herein lies the main challenge and downfall of most relationships. We don't know how to maintain our individuality and merge with another. We don't know how to find a workable way to integrate separation and coming together. One or both partners end up losing him or herself. The other feels smothered or burdened with a bottomless pit that can't be filled.

Losing our own identity, not listening to our own heart, and denying or relinquishing our own needs, are sure guarantees for failed relationships. Distancing ourselves to maintain our own identity (because we don't really know ourselves) is the other dynamic of the unworkable balancing act. The Aries/Libra opposition is always there, to remind us that there has to be two whole people to have a whole relationship. We either have to have a good start at achieving our own wholeness before we enter into relationship, or be very skilled at developing it in relationship, or the inevitable problems will create separation, and the space for us to focus on ourselves and our own growth.

Libra and the seventh house of our natal chart are about all types of relationships - not just lovers but all the significant others in our lives. The questions that are provoked include:

1. How do we achieve harmony with each other?
2. How do we balance our individuality with our togetherness?
3. How do we survive and thrive through the painful growth that relationships, by their very nature, demand?
4. How do we stay in the heart space and cultivate a deep soul connection through all the challenges of life?

Signs and Planets in the Seventh House

We all have our personal agenda for what we hope for in our relationships, which include all of our significant others. The information that we can glean from our birth chart is very informative. The descendent is the name given to the cusp of the seventh house, the house of relationships - partners, friends, and hidden enemies. The sign of the descendent indicates what we are looking for in relationship, including the nature of the activities that we want to share and the qualities that we want the other person to have. The signs and planets in the 7th house indicate the type of people we will attract and the purpose of our being together. The 7th house also suggests what others encounter when they enter into close partnership or enmity with us - the kind of relationship environment we provide for others.(2) Our descendent defines our interview criteria and expectations in relationship.

The secret lies in realizing that these are the qualities that WE need to cultivate in ourselves, to attract a relationship built on the wholeness of each individual. If we ourselves don't satisfy the needs defined in our 7th house, we will look for someone else to satisfy them for us - the perfect formula for both codependence and abandonment. The sign on the descendent, and the signs and planets in the seventh house, indicate how our dark side can manifest in relationship, if we don't figure out how to take care of these needs ourselves. These are clues to our missing half and how we can become whole.

The descendant also indicates how we can empower ourselves, to embrace the higher expression of the signs and planets in our relationship arena. If we look closely at our relationship history, we repeat the same unsuccessful patterns because we are hooked into the lower expressions of the signs and planets in the 7th house. Relationships provide a mirror for us to see ourselves through another's eyes. If we use this mirror to honestly look inside ourselves, instead of feeling victimized, we can identify our patterns, and see the truth below the confusion and consternation.

We can recognize what we are doing, what programs control us, stop these self-sabotaging games, and move to the higher expression of the energies available to us. By listening to our heart we can begin to establish our own wholeness. We can move beyond the fantasy fairy tales and define what would really work for us in relationships. Everyone is different, and everyone needs to claim the right to define what brings them satisfaction.

Your Relationship Code

Below I offer a brief outline to help you begin your own investigation of your descendent and 7th house energies. If you have planets in the 7th house that are in the following sign, then the energies of both signs will be present and come into play.

For each sign I list:

1. what it wants,
2. its main focus,
3. a piece of its honesty,
4. its lower expression and
5. its higher expression.

If you know your ascendant, your descendent is the opposite sign. (Aries/Libra, Taurus/Scorpio, Gemini/Sagittarius, Cancer/Capricorn, Leo/Aquarius, Virgo/Pisces) This outline can help us realize how different everyone is, yet at the same time, how many issues and longings we share.

Aries wants lots of activity and adventures. The main focus is on self and self satisfaction. Be honest, you have your own path and you are going to follow it, whether you have a partner or not. Best to have a partner whose path fits yours, or is preoccupied with one of his/her own. The lower expression of Aries is self-absorption to the point of not noticing that others exist. The highest expression of Aries is a solid independence that gives significant others the freedom to be themselves, without the burden of taking care of the Ram.

Taurus wants the physical body to feel good. The main focus is on sensuality, sexuality, physical comfort, getting basic needs met, and money. Be honest, you want warm physical contact and nurturing attention. An aloof intellectual type just won't do. The lower expression of Taurus is insecurity about money and not being taken care of. The higher expression of Taurus is the ability to take care of oneself, and a patient, sensuous presence.

Gemini wants to talk, chat, do things together, have fun, and go to parties. The main focus is on adventure, lots of friends, and personal interactions. Be honest, you are not going to be a stay at home spouse. You hope he or she will join you in your adventures, but you are not giving up learning about life. You need someone who likes to be entertained too. The lower expression of Gemini will wear anyone out including oneself. The higher expression is lots of fun to be with, because he/she can always see the lighter side of life.

Cancer wants to feel secure and safe. The main focus is on home and cozy activities. Be honest, you need time alone to connect with yourself, and endless activities outside the home won't work for you. The lower expression of the Crab is crabby, moody and needy, and hopes others can guess what they want. The higher expression of the Crab is sensitive, nurturing and kind, and often a good cook.

Leo wants attention, to be entertained and to entertain. The main focus is on self, passion and one's own creative endeavors. Be honest, your relationship is with yourself and your projects. You need someone who shares the same passions for life. The lower expression of Leo is self-centered and demanding. The higher expression of the Lion is warm, playful and supportive.

Virgo wants everything to be in order, organized and correct. The main focus is on service, health and work. Be honest, anyone who is not organized, clean and orderly, health conscious and practical, is not a potential candidate and need not bother to apply. The lower expression of Virgo is picky, rigid and uptight. The higher expression of Virgo is saintly, pure, independent, clear-headed and direct.

Libra wants everything to be harmonious and beautiful. The main focus is on being in some kind of relationship, and through it giving and getting attention. Be honest, you need a partner that wants to have a relationship with YOU, not with his or her work or career. The lower expression of Libra sits out on a limb, and worries what is going to happen while it can't make up its mind what to do. The higher expression of Libra creates a blanket of love for everyone to walk into.

Scorpio wants meaning, purpose and depth in all interactions and endeavors. The main focus is on penetrating to the truth and learning, and resources, i.e. money. Be honest, anything superficial is boring and a waste of time. You want to work together to create something powerful and lucrative. The lower expression of Scorpio is moody, manipulative and disturbed. The higher expression of Scorpio is sexy, powerful, authentic and the real thing.

Sagittarius wants spiritual knowledge and experience. The main focus is on some form of spiritual quest and adventure or travel. Be honest, you want some kind of high every day. If you can create this with your partner, all the better. If not, you will find spiritual substance yourself. The lower expression of Sagittarius is opinionated, pushy and angry. The higher expression of the Centaur is inspiring, delightful and full of life.

Capricorn wants to be recognized and rewarded for hard work. The main focus is on career, business, and finding a clear way up the mountain of life. Be honest, you are into old-fashioned commitment, with no running around, and require the same. The lower expression of the Mountain Goat is depressed, worried and self-negating. The higher expression of the Goat is a patient, trustworthy, responsible, and a wise, caring authority.

Aquarius wants freedom and to rock the boat. The main focus is on individuality, spontaneous self-expression and not being tied down. Be honest, you find all of the traditional relationship fantasies abhorrent and threatening to your required personal freedom. You may have a keep out sign on your heart. You can remove it and post your own terms for possible entrance. The lower expression of Aquarius is weird for no good reason. The higher expression of Aquarius gives you hope, and makes you want to join the band wagon and change the world.

Pisces wants to dream, relax and connect with the Divine. The main focus is on being in the moment and enjoying life. Be honest, you just want to enjoy life together without any hassle, rules or imposed schedule. The lower expression of the Fish is vague, chaotic, spacey and impractical. The higher expression of the Fish is irresistibly loving, caring and accepting.

Aries Full Moon - September 28

The Aries Full Moon is September 28th at 6:10am PDT (1:10pm GMT). Our need for freedom and self-expression confronts the Sun, Mars and Jupiter in Libra. Libra's airy idealism dominates the air waves.

Enthusiasm and optimism are the high road of this Full Moon. Irrationality and self-righteousness are the low road. Aries will not allow Libra to abrogate freedom to make peace. Libra will not allow Aries to bully its way through to freedom. We will need to examine how we can be honest with and true to ourselves, and at the same time compassionately respect others. It is time to identify the barriers inside ourselves that prevent us from giving and receiving love. Love, peace and harmony are always available. The question for us, is how to open our minds and hearts to avail ourselves of Divine reality.

For the 12 months that Jupiter is in Libra, we will personally be reflecting on the nature, value and quality of our relationships. Collectively we will be drawn to examine the injustices and inequalities that prevent world peace, and how we can cooperate to achieve more unity and acceptance between all people.

Libra New Moon/Solar Eclipse October 13-14

The Libra New Moon/Solar Eclipse is October 13, 2004 at 7:48pm PDT (October 14th at 2:28am GMT).

New Moons bring new beginnings. Eclipses awaken us to our spiritual goals. Together they create definitive closures and launch potent initiations. With the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Ceres all in Libra, there is no doubt that this New Moon/Solar Eclipse will focus on relationships, and will initiate a year of expansion through relationship. It is a year to get real about relationships, starting with the relationship with the Divine within ourselves.

We will be drawn to look at our attitude and approach to conflict, cooperation, collaboration and communication. Can we listen, be non-judgmental and fair, without losing our own center and abdicating our own authority? Can we tell ourselves and others the truth from our heart? Sincerity is a requirement, for peace within ourselves and harmony with others. In sum, can we stay connected to our own heart and speak to the heart of others? Can we hear every communication as either a desire to give or to receive love?

Most important, we need to value the relationships that we have. Everyone has a special spirit and unique gifts. Our hearts can open simply by allowing ourselves to appreciate and enjoy everyone exactly the way they are. There is a precious soul in each one of us. Every one of us came to the planet to figure out how to experience love in the human form. It is amusing to observe all the ways we try to find love, especially since most of us don't even know what we are doing. Love comes in many forms and in many ways.

Beyond our uniqueness, we are all one in the heart. Authentic relationship happens in the heart, where we move beyond shared interests, social standards and physical attraction, to a connectedness with ourselves, others and the Universe. In the heart, we connect with a consciousness where love is the stage and compassion is the message. While Jupiter is in Libra, we have a whole year to play the part and share the message.

Kundalini Yoga - Meditation to Connect at the Heart

My very first 40 day meditation was Smiling Buddha Kriya, for opening the heart to Christ Consciousness.(3) Yogi Bhajan said that Jesus practiced this meditation. What I noticed was that I started attracting only people that fit me. No one who wasn't a match came into my life. This meditation opens the heart so that we can connect with others in the heart space. Practice this meditation for forty days or more, and observe the nature and possible shifts in your relationships.

Directions:

Sit with a straight spine. Arms are bent at the elbows, forearms and hands up at the sides. Elbows are pressed back, bringing the chest and heart out. A 30° angle is made between the upper arms and forearms. Hold the ring and the little fingers down with the thumb, keeping the index and middle fingers together and straight up, palms facing forward.

Concentrate at the third eye, and mentally chant and vibrate SA TA NA MA at the third eye.

Chant for 11 minutes. To end, inhale deeply, exhale, open and close the fists several times, and then relax and sit quietly, feeling the vibration of the mantra connect the third eye and the heart.

During the day, bring the spirit of the meditation into your relationships. Give to and relate to the Divine in everyone you interact with. Make blessings your gift to everyone you meet. Make your mantra - Love to all. Light to all. Peace to all.

Libra bumper stickers:

The price of peace is acceptance.
The price of love is non-attachment.

References and Footnotes

"The Seventh House", by Dana Gerhardt, The Mountain Astrologer, Issue #117, Oct/Nov 2004, pp. 55-60.

"Libra Solar Eclipse October 13-14", by Stephanie Austin, The Mountain Astrologer, Issue #117, Oct/Nov 2004, p. 107.

"Aries Full Moon, September 28th", by Stephanie Austin, The Mountain Astrologer, Issue #116, August/ Sept. 2004, p. 110.

1. Austin, Issue #116 TMT, p. 110.
2. Gerhardt, p. 59.
3. On page 155 in Transitions to a Heart-Centered World 2nd Edition. This manual contains dozens of meditations and Kundalini Yoga sets to open the heart.

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